Tuesday, January 20, 2015

To parents, with love!

Why don’t some parents treat their adult children as ADULTS?

The more old they grow the more paranoid they become on how their adult children conduct themselves and fare in life.

Are you saving enough? When is the last you invested in property? The interest rates are slipping…our neighbour’s son bought an apartment there, that aunt’s daughter is building a house in the suburbs, your cousin owns three 4-wheelers... It’s a crore for a medical seat…what extra coaching are you providing your kids...times have changed...

I belong to the ‘puppy generation’ for whom compromising to see parents happy is second nature. Somewhere in the growing up years, we mistook respect for obedience just as our parents mistook possessiveness for love. They loved us, so they decided for us. And because we respected them we obeyed. And yes, we were ‘cultured’ so we never disputed. As if bottled specimens!      

The puppies are ever in gratitude that they are given the opportunity to walk this land…but they would love to chew at the proverbial leash!

It’s got nothing to do with love. It’s pure, simple respect and the right to live. If we decide to choose our partner, it's new love, not old love lost. If we let our kids decide with whom they hang out with, it’s not rubbishing the culture you taught us, rather it’s respecting our kids. If we decide to invest in someplace away from home, it’s not tough love, it’s our freedom. If we ignore hung-up kin, it's not insolence rather self-respect...

Understood some seniors' love and fear for their children. They would definitely not want the hardships they endured to replay. Salutes for the affection! Allow the youngsters to repay.

Chill. Relax. Your kids are grown up to take care of themselves and you, too. Just let go and enjoy doing all that you didn’t have time and funds for. You all deserve it - a life where you just put your feet up and smell the roses. 

If you believe in your upbringing, trust your children to fare well in life. And if you haven’t, sorry, it’s late to make an attempt!! And it's absolutely fine.

What worries me is some of the puppy generation refuse to see they are still inside the bottle. 

My daughter one day returned from school with a packet stapled across. She dutifully handed over the package to me saying, ‘Megha’s mom asked me to give this to you and not to open it.”

Little did she realise it was the book 'Divergent', which she had given her classmate to read. The book was returned because the child’s mom found it ‘atrocious - a book unfit for 12-year olds’!  

While my girl is still lost as to why the book was returned thus, I pitied her classmate’s mother.

Gen Next are no puppies woman! Breathe out!


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The year I lost my height and weight

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

The year I lost my height and weight

Into 2015… here I resurrect!

Happy New Year to all my readers!

I’ve had a fabulous 2014. It was the year I lost my height and helluva weight!

I was known as ‘that tall, lean girl with long hair’ – right from my primary school until I was married, when my man said, ‘You are just of average height’. When I took offence to the ‘just’ in his comment, he simply tucked me under his armpit. I still refused to see the point!

Soon, my scalp was tucking at me, too. So was the unruly cellulite crawling across my waist...and I still refused to see the point!

Now that my girl has stared throwing her arms around my shoulders I have begun seeing the point. But every attempt of mine to convince her I am still of 'decent' height is only laughed at as just another tall tale.

Though I am made shorter against my best intentions, the struggle with my weight was much calculated.

It all began in early-2013 and culminated last year, when I - the self-confessed private person and publicly acknowledged introvert - thought I needed help for housekeeping. So from life coaches and spiritual leaders to NLP practioners and yogis to even friends… I shamelessly exposed my raw self. I let each one of them rummage through my mind and heart, in the hope they will sweep me clean. I was at my vulnerable worst. I let myself be surrounded by dozens of self-help books, CDs and a bunch of people who advised and instructed on what was best for me.

Though none of them helped me find the sanity I sought, I don't regret having associated with any of them as it was a journey that helped me discover myself.

Today, I sit more wise, and far more lighter with a house well-kept and my universe clear of the clutter.

The lessons I learnt...
Never open your heart to anyone before checking if he/she DESERVES to hear your story. Don’t mistake their expertise or closeness to you. Not all who claim to have a solution for your sort of problem or all your buddies deserve to see you nude.

Never seek value and worth from ANYONE [neither from friends/foes nor family/strangers nor colleagues/bosses]. Value yourself.

Shut out all people and situations that put you in the underdog or make you uncomfortable. No matter who they are or what they may be. And see your universe bloom.

Last but not the least, always be thankful, especially to those who hurt you!

I thank all those who aided in my self-discovery...

Special Thanks to Ssrija and a BIG Thank You to my lovely parents and all those who say I touch their hearts!